Take back your power from difficult people in your life with PROJECTION DISSOLVING.

Dysfunction in a group—like a family or work team—often gets expressed by one person who dominates. Without intending it, the whole group organizes around that person, accommodating them, navigating around them, trying to get them to change. This tool is designed to help you take back this power and place it squarely where it belongs: inside yourself. 

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Cues to Use The Tool

1. Before, during, and after a family gathering or meeting where this person will be present.

2. Whenever you notice yourself thinking too much about the difficult person.

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The Tool

  1. Close your eyes and see that person as larger than life—gigantic and shimmering with power, like an actor in a spotlight. Experience yourself as a small, scared child trying to placate, avoid, or (in some cases) challenge them.

  2. Imagine there’s something in your heart that has projected all this energy onto them, like a movie projector showing an image on a screen. Suck all of the energy back into your heart. This should feel physical, as if you’re sucking something back inside yourself. The person will deflate back to normal size, like a balloon losing all its air. Now he/she is just a normal human being. All of the energy you were projecting outward is now inside you. You feel expanded inside. From this place, the other person is no longer a threat.

  3. Look at the now-deflated image of the other person and apologize (to the image, not the actual person). Most people are surprised at this step. After all, the other person is the offender, so why apologize to them? You apologize because the dynamic isn’t good for either one of you. It’s not good for you to give them that much power because it leaves you feeling weak, and it’s not good for them to have that much power over you—it brings out the worst in them.